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life after death and taxes

You've heard it before. Someone raises a hand ponderously and intones with as much philosophical solemnity as anyone can manage:

Nothing's certain in this life except death and taxes!

There's something about that statement that bites like Reality. There will always be something taxing us - mostly governments, which is why the phrase smarts of irony and persecution - and pretty much everybody dies. These are things you can count on - rocks of comfort to hold onto when you Just Don't Know Anymore.

Ah, well, at least there's death and taxes.

In my college studentship, there are inevitabilities - analogous to death and taxes in the scope of life. I like to call them tests and tuition. There will always be another tuition payment, and there will always be more tests. Sometimes a test is used to assign a grade, and sometimes they are dressed up as 'learning experiences' - but the whole point of education is answering the question: does this sheep-like member of the student class-herd get what I'm feeding them? And I take it - why? Yes, I groan at an upcoming exam or shake my head over the tuition bill. I rage and complain, but in the end I prepare for the test (or don't) and take it; I scrounge up the funds and pay the bill. I swallow it because it's inevitable. It's tolerable, however outrageous or unnecessary it may be, because it's expected.

I draw this analogy because something struck me this morning as I stepped out of the classroom building. This morning, we had skill check-offs for our IV therapy module as well as a written math test to make sure we can manage all those horrendously tricksy (tongueincheekhere) medication calculations. The thought that assailed me with such profundity was this:

Hey! Look! The day's not over! There's a whole afternoon left!

That's when another realization hit me: how ridiculous I was to realize this so late. Exams and tuition are inevitable, and I expect them to come and go and come and go - yet somehow I allow them to loom over me as if the rest of my life is on hold until I deal with this one test. I pour so much of my thinking into the test before it happens that I forget to consider what I will do after it. More importantly, I neglect to take shelter in the fact that there are certain unshakeable truths found in the Person and Work of the Almighty. I invest my whole self - identity, state of emotions - in the outcome of a specific test of my intellect, my cunning, my monetary worth. And then I have to scramble when it's over, whether I succeed or fail, because the true nature of that test is shown: temporal, fleeting, and still leaving things very uncertain.

Never forget: there's life after death and taxes.

That's a line from a Relient K song, and it outlines my confession: I forget. There's life after death and taxes. There's life, even, after tests and tuition. Whether that test is passed or failed, or that tuition bill is paid on time or not - life goes on. More than that, life has beauty and meaning transcending that specific moment in my life - not just because of the blue skies and sun reflecting off of the snow, but because of the glory of God reflecting off of me and everyone and everything happening around me. I know I want that beauty and meaning, and I know it only comes from God - but I forget. My hands are always trying to grasp it through successes, grades, possessions.

That moment, stepping out of the classroom with five tests behind me and a whole day ahead, I remembered.

Today, for what is surely the millionth time in my life, I stepped out into the sunshine and laid down my pens and needles. After all my nursing tests, after all my financial maneuverings, after all the studying, after all the taxpaying, after death itself - after all these things, there's something unshakeable which secures life eternal for me, and it has nothing to do with my passing any of these tests. There is life after death and taxes, and it rests completely on the glory and goodness of God. In no other can I find beauty and meaning. He is my eternal resting place. As Augustine said, 'We were made for you, O God, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.'

Or, as the Psalmist says,

And in that purest light of Thine, we clearly light shall see.
Read More 1 Comment | scribbled by Unknown edit post

1 Comment

  1. Danielle Carlson on January 22, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    Hey Dearie, it's been a while since I stopped by your blog. Coincidentally enough, I heard Relient K's song the other day, "Never forget...there's life after death and taxes..." So when I stopped by your blog and saw the post I was like "hey! I've been thinking about the same thing!" It's so easy to get caught up in the now and here and forget that whatever happens...there's Life after death--and taxes.
    Love you! See you soon!

     


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