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Beautiful People: Pretentious Rhubarb Patches



Well, for several months now a fair number of my scribbling friends have been putting these out dutifully. It is (or seems to me) a sort of system of interviewing one's characters, and I have been entertained enough by Jenny, Abigail, and Megan's answers that I thought I'd try my hand at one (or perhaps two, later) of my own.

So here's the description-macallsit. Links to the beautiful people who construct this project may be found on the image to your left.  

Once a month Sky and [Georgie] will be posting a list of 10 questions for you to answer about your characters. You can use the same character every month, or choose a new one for each set of questions. Your call. You can answer all the questions, just one, or however many you have the time and energy to answer. Just go for it and have fun.

Darjeeling Falcon

(I don't like it when you write my whole name out. It makes me look pretentious.) 

But you are pretentious!

(That doesn't mean I have to like looking that way!) 

Oh, hush... 

1. What is his biggest secret?
William Taylor is his best friend. (Ha. Ha. No, seriously, I know who killed the barber, and no one even knows he's dead.) Are you my investigator or my murderer? (Are you my authoress or my jester?) Woe betide; one question, and he's already turned nasty. I'm not so sure this was such a good idea... 

2. Has he ever been in love?
Maybe, past tense. Doubt anything could touch his cold heart now. (What bothers me is not the acerbic attempt at wit of your answer, but the universal assumption that the hero of the novel must fall in love...) Well, why do you always assume that you're the hero of the novel? (...not funny...)

3. What is his comfort food?
Rhubarb. (Shut up.)

4. Does he play a musical instrument? If so, what?

As far as I know, Falcon has never been musically inclined. He's really indisposed for all proper and fashionable society, and sets himself against anything that will suit him for such. (My vanity deigns not to reply to such hideous slander, while my innate honesty replies that I can coax a rather charming tune from the penny-whistle - which, admittedly, is not the often-selected center of most fashionable events.)

5. What colour are his eyes? Hair?
Brown enough to be neither strikingly dark nor fair, on both counts. (Wonderfully offset by my strikingly dark-green fedora...)

6. Does he have any pets?
Not really. (I keep a servile squabble of pigeons cooped on the roof of my office for the purpose of communicating with the outside world in a more reasonable and punctual fashion than by the mess of humanly-generated stupidity known as the postal service. I would not call them pets, though I suspect Miss Brewster of naming them.)

7. Where is his favourite place to be?
The rooftop of his office. (As far away from the pigeon coop as possible, preferably.)

8. What are some of his dreams or goals?

He doesn't seem to care for success, though whether that's laziness or intelligence I can't say. (She can. It's intelligence.)

9. Does he enjoy sports?
He sports with people's intelligence, speak of the devil. As for actual sports, I can't say he does much of those, unless waving a pistol around and asking questions counts. (Talking. Talking definitely counts. And my job requires enough activity for me not to have to use my leisure time to pretend I haven't been sitting in a chair all day.)

10. What is his favourite flower or plant?
Rhubarb! (Will you shut up already?!)

Darjeeling Falcon is the resident Government Investigations Agent of Steeple and occasional hero of my recalcitrant (and very much unfinished) novel, The Brew. Yes, he is intentionally named after tea. No, he does not wear a fedora, and I'm not sure that he isn't greatly exaggerating the part about the penny-whistle as well. For more character sketches and a glimpse into the general idea of the story, please visit this post. No pigeons or rhubarb were harmed in the course of this interview.
Read More 9 Missages | scribbled by Unknown edit post

9 Missages

  1. Abigail Hartman on July 22, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    Anna, you slay me repeatedly. Is it fair, do you think, to kill me twice in the same day? I think not.

    But apart from that, Falcon is oh-so-hilarious (in, of course, a dignified and sarcastic way) and full of rhubarby wit and fedora'd charm. I scream with pleasure in your general direction, my dear Anna.

     
  2. Jenny Freitag on July 22, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    No seriously, we screamed. I refreshed my Blogger feed and saw someone had posted a Beautiful People post - someone being you. We sounded like two air-raid sirens going off at once, Abigail and I, and I had most horrible time keeping the excited giggles in. And that was before I had read your post.

    At basic, I love Darjeeling Falcon. He is every bit a wit and pretentious snob, but the endearing sort that makes you want to strangle him as you hug him. Rhubarb. Rhubarb! And penny-whistles. The devil... ^.^

    Thank you for joining in the fun with Falcon. You two made my day. I love you!

     
  3. Megan Langham on July 22, 2011 at 7:03 PM

    Oh, Anna, you murder mercilessly. What a silly, foppish, pompous darling (Darjeeling Falcon, not you). Such shameless hilarity! I can only imagine the conversations you two have when nobody else is around.

    You had better keep on with this. It's good for the hearts of your readers.

    (Rhubarb...!)

     
  4. Lilly on July 23, 2011 at 9:57 AM

    I agree with Darjeeling, Rhubarb is a particularly good food.(whymustitonlygrowinthenorth?!!) *chuckles* You are so witty and Darjeeling is so pretentiously funny. I really do like him. (Unless he's being mean to Miss Brewster.) *shifty-eyed look at Darjeeling

     
  5. Hudson on July 23, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    ...I wanna read this book. 'Cause it sounds absolutely hilarious. The dialogue in this post is awesome. :-P

     
  6. Jenny Freitag on July 23, 2011 at 10:45 AM

    "Darjeeling! I've known him all my life and even I don't call him that!"

    You would love this, Hudson. It would kill you to pieces.

     
  7. Anonymous on July 29, 2011 at 7:25 AM

    Okay, purely EPIC. I mean, seriously! This is fantastic. I'm checking out the rest of your blog now! :D

     
  8. Unknown on July 29, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Abigail, Jenny, and Megan, your comments overwhelm my spirit with their honor. (Also, my eardrums... >.O) I'm afraid the more I find out about this chap, the more I love him. I hope that is true for my hypothetical-someday readers. He really is a good bloke. I didn't know if he would turn out that way, but he looks like it.

    Lilly, I like rhubarb an awful lot, but I'm afraid it's not really Darjeeling's favorite. It's more like a onesided joke I have on him which is perhaps the only thing that embarrasses him to the point of (temporarily) disarming his long-winded-retort capabilities. But I'm sure he'll get over it by the end of the novel. I enjoy it while I can.

    Hudson, I hope very much to let you read this someday. It's my favorite brainchild yet, because it allows me to be ridiculous in ways my other brainchildren didn't, and still somehow it's picking up all the major themes that my previous attempts played with. I'm afraid I have a two-or-three-track mind as an author. Certain themes will keep creeping in. But I'm glad, at the least, to have given you a laugh. Falcon keeps me so entertained; I'm happy to share him.

    (Here the author inserts a pause to choke over Jenny's comment. Because Miss Brewster could so carry that one off...)

    Thanks, Taylor! You will find it, I fear, a poor experience compared to the likes of Jenny and Abigail - but I write about the things I like, and perhaps we will have some of those things in common, hmm? Consider yourself welcome to come back and chortle (or ponder, or chortle ponderously, or ponder chortlesomely) with me every now and again. And I shall crawl over to your page, if I can summon the mental capacity to find it, and do the same.

     
  9. Anonymous on July 30, 2011 at 6:43 AM

    You're welcome! I hope you enjoy my blog. :) Have a great day!

    Hugs,
    Taylor Lynn <3

     


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