Blinking over the email-receipt for the Turnitin submission of my last essay, I suddenly realized I have a life again.

That's right. Summester Countdown: 0 days. 

I'm done!

Honestly - I hate to palaver on and on about "how it feels" like an illiterate celebrity with an Oscar - but it feels really surreal. Six weeks on a couple of classes doesn't seem like enough time to be done with them. It just doesn't. Don't get me wrong; I'm very glad to get them over with so quickly. But ... it's just blurred by. I'm sure I'll get used to it.

No! You cannot say, in spite of it feeling 'surreal,' that I am sorry it is gone. I have already put my textbooks in for resale on Amazon. They're in the box and labeled. That is how glad I am to be done. The things I'm going to do now...!

I can see Chesterton from here.

I am going to sleep tonight with no homework to look forward to tomorrow. Granted, I'm going to work rather early, but I like my job and it seems like a glorious prospect with no homework looming behind it.

I have a box of textbooks at the foot of my bed - not nursing or random gen. ed., but some of the curriculum from my high school Latin courses, which I am determined to brush up on while I can.

My desk also houses a splendidly generous box of Yorkshire Gold tea, which I am going to drink. Hot with milk, every morning, over Chesterton and Latin after loads of sleep.

It's a simple enough idyll, but it will suit for a few days here, at least.

Oh, yeah, and it's time to start packing...

Of course, luck doesn't exist, so technically every day is unlucky - but who likes technicalities? (Me!)

Nevertheless, today was gnarly and gnotted and not gnearly as productive as it needed to be. Kablah and ptooey. But again, enough of the unluckinesses. Everything went as it was intended to by someone infinitely wiser than myself, which is not to say that I was perfect - but really, that sums up every day. And the beautiful thing about Unlucky, Providential days is that gnarly and gnotted things can be beautiful, if one has the eyes to see them. They're often the most beautiful things of all, because it takes grace to make them any good - and that's twice beauty there over a thing that could be appreciated at the first glance. This, of course, is not limited to days of the month. Bit o' philosophy for you there. 'Fraid I've reached the end of my thought-tether, but it's something.

And so, with a great determination to be hopeful and not preoccupied with such tedious things as luck, I set my alarm and prepare to tackle things with fresh eyes first thing tomorrow morning. There may not be much sleep, but there will be tea. I am determined to finish this thing off well. And speaking of which...

Summester Countdown: 3 days! 

And after that - oh, I have tremendous things planned for the Thereafter, but I suppose I should catch this wave of sleepiness before it passes. I shall have to wait to tell you about all that until another day, another post. 

His mercy lasts forever!

This morning we received a family into the membership of our church, hearing the formal pronouncement of the couple's vows of church membership (something, I pray, we will see repeated with their still-young children after time and instruction). The experience propelled me back to when I made these vows for myself at the ripe, young age of twelve. (This is not something to be confused with baptism; that took place when I was younger still.) This stands as a covenant, defining the relation of myself to the visible Body of Christ, in the ways that I believe God has given us to receive grace through the ministry of the Holy Spirit in the church. 

That's a very poor summary (doctrinally and personally speaking) of all that takes place here; nevertheless, I felt compelled to reflect on what I signed up for in my youth and still find precious (only because of God's abundant mercy and faithfulness, and not my own strength in making good on these). Basically, I made a bunch of promises that are only available through the faithfulness and goodness of God, and only made good by that same faithfulness and goodness. This is the stuff that makes the Christian life tough and yet undeniably sweet.


Covenant of Communicant Membership
from the Constitution of the Reformed Presbyterian Church of North America.

1. Do you believe the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments to be the Word of God, the only infallible rule for faith and life?

I do.

2. Do you believe in the one living and true God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, as revealed in the Scriptures?

I do.

3. Do you repent of your sin; confess your guilt and helplessness as a sinner against God; profess Jesus Christ, Son of God, as your Saviour and Lord; and dedicate yourself to His service: Do you promise that you will endeavor to forsake all sin, and to conform your life to His teaching and example?

I do.

4. Do you promise to submit in the Lord to the teaching and government of this church as being based upon the Scriptures and described in substance in the Constitution of the Reformed Presbyterian Church of North America? Do you recognize your responsibility to work with others in the church and do you promise to support and encourage them in their service to the Lord? In case you should need correction in doctrine or life, do you promise to respect the authority and discipline of the church?

I do.

5. To the end that you may grow in the Christian life, do you promise that you will diligently read the Bible, engage in private prayer, keep the Lord’s Day, regularly attend the worship services, observe the appointed sacraments, and give to the Lord’s work as He shall prosper you?

I do.

6. Do you purpose to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness in all the relationships of life, faithfully to perform your whole duty as a true servant of Jesus Christ, and seek to win others to Him?

I do.

7. Do you make this profession of faith and purpose in the presence of God, in humble reliance upon His grace, as you desire to give your account with joy at the Last Great Day?

I do.

The congregation then promises(d) to receive the new member(s) as brother and/or sister in Christ.

The road to salvation is filled with sweet things from the hand of God. Overflowing with thanksgiving for the reminder of that today.

Summester Countdown: 5 days. 

I'm hanging out in Psalm 37 these days, trying to commit as much of it to memory as I may. (Intense weeks of school are always convicting for me, because I realize how much time I have to devote to learning things and how little of it I devote to Scripture on an ordinary basis.) Anyway, I've lingered in this passage more than once in my life for various reasons, so sitting down and memorizing it is a bit like cheating - but of course, that doesn't make it any less worth it.

The charge to "fret not!" is, of course, very timely. There a lot of things I could be anxious about right now - a lot of things I am anxious about - a lot of proverbial irons in the fire that might blossom to something lovely or explode and sear my fingers off at any moment. There are probably a lot of stupid things I'm committing while trying to juggle these potentially-explosive schemes... stupid things and willful sins.

Fret not!

There are, of course, many things made sure by this passage: God's care and love of the righteous, the destruction of the wicked, the innately evil-tending nature of fretting... but the one that always grabs me by the ear and gives me a good shake is the fourth verse:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

It strikes me, then, that this is very much a prosperity-gospel sort of Psalm, though not the contemporary version. The Psalmist isn't saying, "Hey, love God and you'll get all the grademarks and honor and stuff you could ever want!" Can that even be accurately termed 'prosperity'? If so, what a squalid and cramped understanding of what it is to prosper!

But this is the prosperity Gospel according to God's economy, which quite simply boils down to this: if God is the deepest desire of your heart (if you delight in Him), then of course you get the desires of your heart. He gives you himself - has given and does give, from glory to glory: the love of the Father, the fellowship of the Son, the ministry of the Holy Spirit... and so he brings forth your (Christ's) righteousness as the light, your justice as the noonday.

Fret not.

Summester Countdown: 7 days

With one week left to this business of summer school, I am left trying valiantly to motivate myself past the temptation of a senioritis-like dysfunctionality without so much as dabbling my toes in the devil-may-careness of that syndrome. Studying outside has proved surprisingly effective. This is surprising because I'm not terribly fond of hot weather, and these last few weeks have been decidedly warm. But somehow, every afternoon I've been outside, I find myself looking up from whatever my nose is in and realize that I am very warm and actually enjoying it. Perhaps the polar bear is going tropical...? Or perhaps it's just sheer delight at realizing that one does not have to imitate cave-dwelling to be studious...

Another helpful motivator comes in the form of my List Of Things I Am Going To Do After These Six Weeks Of Busyness And Toil Are Through, which I have fondly nicknamed... er... let me get back to you on that. Naturally, the tippy-top of that list involves reading, and I have a good few books (and a few good books) that I mean to steadily advance bookmarks through in the too-shrunken portion of summer that remains between July 1 and the start of the fall semester. To limit the size of the list and to allow for the miserly capacity of my brain just now, here are some of the new reads that I hope to complete (some already begun, some not). This is by no means comprehensive, but these are the ones that catch my eye as I cast a longing eye over my bookshelf...



1. Four Faultless Felons by G.K. Chesterton

Recognize this fellow? He turned up a few posts down... Anyway, I cheated and slipped in forty or so pages while Bauman's back was turned, but have been a diligent lass since then... though it threatens to kill me. It was worth it, though... and this one will probably find its way into my luggage to Jenny'n'Abigail at the end of June.





2. The Secret Key to Heaven by Thomas Brooks (Puritan Paperback)

I'm inordinately fond of the Puritan portion of the cloud-of-witness, which is probably why I neglect to read contemporary theological material so often. (I know, I know, a musty old hardback "Complete Works Of... Unabridged" on all these chaps would be so much more satisfactory, but I can afford the paperbacks. Someday...) This little treatise on private prayer has been tagging along with me since early this last spring... I should have a few more months left on it.


3. Green Dolphin Street by Elizabeth Goudge

Missy gave me this lovely antiqueish-hardback copy for Christmas (which, funnily enough, matches this picture from Etsy) and I've failed to conjure the time to read it since. I love Goudge's style, however, and her grasp of human nature and ability to chart the movement of a story in a character's soul as well as the time-line is nothing short of beauty.





4. The Man Born to be King by Dorothy Sayers

A play-cycle on the life of Jesus first broadcasted on British radio between December of 1941 and October of 1942, I picked more for my love for Sayers and a curiosity to know what she would make of this kind of a project than a strong desire to read this sort of book. The poem at the beginning when I took the 'Look Inside This Book' option at Amazon was compelling enough. And I probably shall never be able to give my copy up, simply because it is battered and blue and published in 1943, and also because it arrived via Royal Mail. ^.^



5. Letters to a Diminished Church by Dorothy Sayers.

Heh. Trend, anyone? I have this one on loan and recommendation from Katie, with the caveat that the first half of the book is splendid and the second one seems to depart from the original topic. But considering that the subtitle is "Passionate Arguments for the Relevance of Christian Doctrine" and that Sayers is the author, half a booksworth on the subject seems worth a try! I cheerfully took the warning and kidnapped it anyway.




6. The Christian Imagination (edited by) Leland Ryken

This is a sort of anthology of writings on the role of the Christian faith in literature and writing, with pieces by Tolkien, MacDonald, Schaeffer, Chesterton, O'Connor, (T.S.) Eliot, and others. I'm not a huge fan of bits'n'pieces books, but the title was tempting and the list of contributors was too good to pass up. Besides, I generally find the things on my "not a huge fan" lists generally boil down to groundless snobbery, and I'm happily looking forward to finding the same with this heftily-healthy-looking tome.





7. In the Hall of the Dragon King by Stephen Lawhead

Rachel snagged this for me from the 'City book-sale. While I would not recommend Lawhead's books universally for all ages, I have found a good many of his works delightful, thought-provoking, and even edifying. This one is part of a children's series, so less likely to be as stimulating, but there's surely a place for relaxing and letting one's soul bask in breezy-sunshine-works...






8. Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

This (along with the Brontë sisters) belongs in that category of lengthy classics which I picked up at a scandalously young age and tossed aside unfinished in a fit of frustration/boredom/something fickle. I found Wuthering Heights weird, Jane Eyre sheerly depressing (heavily influenced by Liz here, I think), and Mansfield Park fell into the 'boredom' category. (I really don't know what made the difference between these and other works I read; it wasn't a matter of length, for at that same time I cheerfully ploughed through Dickens, all of Austen's other works except her shortest two, and even swallowed War and Peace.)


The failures of the deep past aside, I managed to enjoy Emily last summer, and I hope to vanquish Jane this year. Perhaps next summer I shall manage Charlotte at last, too.

And now with (hopefully) renewed stamina, I return to my paper-writing and slide-perusing. What new literary paths do you hope to forge this summer? 

IT'S JUNE!

What, you ask, is so grand about June?

Well... lots of things, all of them with James' little "God willing" clause, but to list a few...

Sunshine!

The end of summer semesters!

Books! Friendships! (Things that modern economics will say are luxuries. Believe ye not the lie: they are of utmost necessity.) 

More time at the hospital (working, not recovering from anything!)

And... last but definitely oh-so-never-never not least...

Visiting Abigail and Jenny! Oh, and if I happen to run into a few other no-less-dear friends while visiting these, I can't say I shall be disappointed or altogether surprised. ^.^

All that said because it just happened to be June, and it struck me that June is a very happy thing, while I am on the verge of being a not-so-happy thing (which I have no right to be, see 'it struck me that...'). Tomorrow has enough troubles of its own; I have dealt with the majority of today's, and so... why fret?

Meanwhile, I'm basking in the collective light of Psalm 37 and Micah 6&7. I could paste them all here, but I'm a firm believer in using literal-factual-existing-paper-and-ink books. So if you feel like looking those up and basking in their glow along with me (which isn't really the chapters' glow, but the light of the glory of God shining in the face of Jesus Christ - mmm!), might I suggest you do so using the book-format? Biblegateway.com is all very well and good, but really - nothing beats paper!